Hey Xanga, I'M BACK :)

It's been 3 months since i've posted an entry and I guess that's a good thing. I haven't been on the computer as much as i used to since i've been caught up in everything: School, friendships, and now work. Who has time for relationships? Or the computer? BUT i cannot live without my t.v. hehe. Family channel is the greatest creation ever! And not to mention...our Canucks have won the series 4-0 against the St. Louis Blues! Congrats!

GO, CANUCKS, GO!

The song that is stuck in my head is "Us Against the World" by Christina Milian. Listening to the lyrics and the beat makes it seem so sexy and romantic. I decided to check out the music video and damn it was hot! Literally. I've been thinking so deeply about songs nowadays...i try to listen to the message, what's inside the heart of the song and i like it! Who knew they had so so so much meaning! It makes me want to write a song! But then again, i'm not very good at poetry haha

What is so funny is that i sing the song with a microphone...you know the ones for karaoke? HAHA i can't help it! I'm so into it! You think it's weird? Well I don't! It's the same as singing in the shower and using the showerhead as a mic, duh. So really, it isn't weird. Hm. Speaking of weird... What's weird anyway? Like, who are we to define what is weird? For example, right now some of us may think mullets are weird...but are they actually? Because back then, mullets were the "IT" `do and currently, for some it IS the `do. Just because someone is different doesn't necessarily mean they are weird. I think people are too judgemental these days.

Anyways, I was watching this show called "Life After Humans" on the discovery channel and it was so realistic! It was a theory-based documentary (with most evidence) on what would happen to our surrounding environment if we, humans, suddenly vanished TODAY. Just watching what would happen to the atmosphere, the animals, and the buildings we constructed was surprisingly chaotic yet calm. I learned SO many things just watching that one-hour documentary. It's unbelievable. I would recommend it to everyone :)

Ah, i gotta go get ready for our fashion show rehearsal. It's tomorrow at 7pm in the McRoberts Old Gym. I CAN'T WAIT! Everyone has worked really hard in making this happen. Urban Hollows, here we come!

Somehow I always need to come back to you, Xanga. I guess it's because i've had you for 5 years now! (although I didn't use you during a 1 year period)

LIFE AS IT IS...

An hour ago, after going on blogspot, I went to bed but i just couldn't fall asleep. I've got so many things on my mind. I think life here is "provincial." I guess it's just because I haven't been doing anything lately but school. If only I tried harder in grade 11, i wouldn't be having such a hard time right now. i truly do regret that grade 10/11 stage where i couldn't stop partying and going out late and doing some things i wish i didn't do. life would've been so much easier now. i could hang out with my friends more, i wouldn't stress out over post-secondary stuff, and basically i would be happier. i'm not unhappy but i think i could be happier. ehhh, sometimes life jsut doesn't go the way you want it to --i just learned it the hard way. i couldn't get away with it. i thought i could totally maintain my grades while i was partying but deep down i knew it was bullshit yet i chose to ignore that fact. why was i so stupid?

sigh. this is just as stupid. i shouldn't dwell on the past but look ahead. i'll just have to try even harder now. i know i can do it. i know i can do it. i know i can do it. Who am i kidding? I keep telling myself that but what if, in the end, i fail? i already feel like a failure but i don't want to let my family down. i don't want my friends to look down on me and pity me. i want to be successful, i want to be happy, i want --I WANT. that's it. I just want everything. I gotta make it happen. If i want to be successful, if i want to be happy, then i gotta pay the price that goes with them. That price means doing well in school NOW.

I sort of feel distant from all my friends at the moment just because i'm so self-obsessed with school. But i really need to do well. I hope they understand and try to cope with me. I'm not bailing out or not wanting to go, i just can't --with all the stuff that's going on in the moment. I barely talk to them on the phone, but then again, I've got loads to do. Sigh. It's either one or the other. I'm sorry, my friends, but I'm going to have to sacrifice our late night telephone talks for school temporarily due to my faults. Sorry. I hope, at least, your lives are going better.

Sophie: I know you'll be able to do it, seriously. You just have to really push yourself --and i know you can. You absolutely have the potential, i can see it! & If you ever need any help, you've got the 3 of us to back you up! We're all in this together. And no matter what the outcome is, friends forever!

Crystal: Sometimes I wish you had higher standards for yourself since I know that if you actually tried, you could be really great. But, I'm really happy for you right now. You've got a great family, a boyfriend, and you've got your post-secondary figured out. Good job :) 

Swana: When I don't see you at school, i get upset (although you may not know). I think you can be an A++ student when you're around more. You know, if you ever have any problems I'm always here to lend a hand or an eager ear, seriously. Take charge, you are the boss! (L)

"A true friend is someone who knows there's something wrong even when you have the biggest smile on your face."

Sorry Xanga, Blogspot is the "it" now.

You'll always be somewhere in mind, maybe.  
Don't you worry though,
I'll be back once I'm done with blogspot.
Xoxo

You know you love me,
k.

The past couple of days have been so much fun!

First up was Swana's fantastic Christmas dinner! The food was all so yummy and there was ALOT leftover! The party started out late but hey, it was absolutely amazing all the same! After dinner we did our Secret Santa exchange which had some pretty interesting moments. Soon after the presents were opened we watched a movie! The Descent is SUCH a STUPID movie! I'm pretty sure we all screamed because of the suddeness and gory-ness of it lol. I remember it all so well....the 6 girls trapped in the cave with a recorder. as one of the girl does a full 360 turn recording their surrounding, some bald creepo is suddenly in the picture! then EVERYONE litterally jumped up 2cm off the couch hahaha that was so funny and at the moment was super scary. once the movie finished everyone helped clean up and left. those remaining were: Swana, Sophie, and Kristine. Unfortunately John Tucker must Die was on and sophie and i left swana's house sans finishing the movie. oh well. guess we have an excuse to go over and watch it sometime hehehh oh and i hope your wrist and your butt are feeling better sophie!

For that night I slept over at sophie's and we stayed up til 3 sophie trying to read while i'm blabbling on about something LOL in the end we just fell asleep. we woke up at 1230 and watched back to back search for girlicious and stephanie made us 2 nice chocolate pancakes and 1 lump haha then we watched more tv while stephanie and her cousin baked chocolate cupcakes. mmmmmm...then crystal picked me up to go to rc. freaking hilarious. i was rushing i slipped into the snow and crystal saw me! then her highlander got stuck in the snow and i went out to push it haha. was too funny. esp in the car. hmm once i got home i got ready to go to cassie's. it was such a cute party! left, went home to sleeeep.

wednesday morning was snowing like craaaazy! as a result, my parents and i had to go to my cousins house and sleepover in case we were stuck in richmond and unable to attend the Christmas dinner held at amyy's. so i went then waited for adrian to pick up tix..then at amyys we watched an asian drama which has 28 episodes, i think? it was soooooo cute! seriously, i cried SOO much during the sad part :( and there are SO many cute guys in it! goodbye jesse mccartney, hello new asian boy! (NAB hahahhaa!) yeah so we stayed up til 8am trying to finish it but couldnt so slept until 1ish then started watching it again until 11pm. great drama

after the drama finished i played mahjong until 1am. from 1 i was on the computer fb and gaming heheh now i'm doing this! half stoked for today...BOXING DAY! gonna head down to rc to do some shopping.. hopefully :)

anyhoo. i'm extremely tired now. gotta have the strength to shop haha!

xoxo
kristine

p.s. try not to shop until you drop ;)
i know i won't

Hmm...so i did exactly what i said i'd do: Stay at home all day. And guess what? I've never been more bored in my life!!! well maybe except for those times in class where i would do nothing, but that's not the point! i wish i went to the "hotpot" dinner at marias lol. damn you stupid cell phone!

So yesterday i slept at like 6am and woke up at 4pm today. i was having nightmares again, today. i haven't had them for a month but now they're back again... and they were such weird nightmares...i only rmb 2 people in my dream: crystal and cassie. weird combo eh? my nightmare was so messy...so many things happened. let's just hope tonight i'll get a sound sleep!

Since i have nothing better to do right now, i might as well write up my potential goals for 2009. TOP5:

1. Achieve all A's for second term
2. Maintain a clean, organized room!
3. EXERCISE DAILY (Keep fit)
4. Spend LESS money
5. Help Mom.

1. Achieve all A's for second term - Must focus on FRAL & Caluculus the most. Spend more time indoors studying instead of heading out to partay...which technically i should be doing since it's my last year but university is hell, wayy more important.

2. Maintain a clean, organized room! - This was my goal for this year too..which didn't turn out so well. But i gotta try. By cleaning my room at least once a week, this goal will be achieved easily like downing a piece of cake. So this year, i WILL conquer this goal! 

3. EXERCISE DAILY (keep fit) - I must do this because i am not eating healthily. (i knew i shouldn't have had that kfc last thursday...) therefore to maintain a balance, i need to keep in shape. i am particularly fat on the arms and waist/thighs. this must end! gotta do some laps or something! Plus, i need to eat healthy. no more fast food!

4. Spend LESS money - Not more, no less. I will set a budget for myself. Max $20 / month.

5. Help Mom. - I don't do shit at home lol so i should start doing something. brining in the groceries, cleaning around the house, doing the dishes...doing something!! That way, my mommy will have an easier time :)

"Besides, without goals, i have no purpose."

keep it real!
xox